How To Stop Worrying About What Your Colleagues Think - ROUND GIST

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Thursday, 17 August 2017

How To Stop Worrying About What Your Colleagues Think

Take time to celebrate your wins at work.

You’ve just completed six-month project under budget and ahead of time, and the client is ecstatic about the results. At the staff meeting, you wait for your boss and your coworkers to heap on some praise. When there’s no mention of your achievements, you start of feel disappointed and then you start to doubt yourself and wonder if you did as good a job on this project as you thought.

This is what Tootie Smith calls “some stinking thinking.”

Rather than worrying about what other people think about us, we should shift our mind to focus on our accomplishments and goals, says Smith, a leadership consultant and speaker. “Remind yourself, ‘It’s no accident that I’m in this position.’ ”

The reason some of us fall into this trap is we’re taught as children to be concerned about what other people think about us and our actions, says Dr. Samantha Madhosingh, a licensed psychologist and executive coach. “It’s part of our conditioning to worry about what other people think,” she says.

Don't wait for someone else to reward you for your work, reward yourself, Madhosingh says. “There doesn’t need to be a feeling of disappointment,” she says. Instead of waiting for a pat on the back, Madhosingh recommends celebrating your own wins regardless of whether someone tells you that you did a good job.

Remind yourself that you did a great job and then find a way to reward yourself with a special gift, a night out with friends or something special you have been reluctant to splurge on.

Similarly, you shouldn’t spend too much time worrying what you coworkers think about your work. “Women are too worried about how they will be perceived,” Smith says. “Slough that off. Show up for work knowing that you look great and you’re smart.”

Too many times, women focus on what they should do, rather than what they want to do, Smith says. Tell yourself, “I want to do this and I want to succeed,” then focus on your goal and start doing research and talking with people who can help you achieve your goals, she says.

It’s important to make a distinction between worrying about what your peers think about you and the quality of your work, and what your supervisor and clients need you to deliver, Madhosingh says. If you’re performing at or above the level that your supervisor and clients require, and you provide quality work, then you shouldn’t worry about what your peers think about you or your work.

“It doesn’t matter what your peers think,” she says. “They’re not responsible for you and you’re not responsible for them.”

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